


Papyrus finds a gun

by ToaKape1



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 07:59:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17362079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToaKape1/pseuds/ToaKape1
Summary: Papyrus discovers one of the most common deadly weapons known to man. What could go wrong?





	Papyrus finds a gun

One day Sans was laying in the snow by his post thinking about how meaningless his life was when Papyrus ran up to him mad as usual.

“SANS YOU’VE BEEN CONTEMPLATING YOUR EXISTENCE FOR THE PAST 3 HOURS! ALL YOUR PUZZLES NEED TO BE CALLIBRATED AND YOU NEED TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR HUMANS!” Papyrus yelled at the top of his lungs. Sans said nothing, for he was deep in thought. “NO MATTER. FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE FOUND A PUZZLE SO TERRIBLE THAT NO HUMAN WILL DARE SET FOOT BEYOND THAT GATE! NYEH HEH HEH!” Sans sat up. Snow fell out of his eye sockets and onto his shorts. A new puzzle?

“Hold on Papyrus, what do you mean a new puzzle?” Sans asked, curious. Papyrus went over to Sans’ post and started digging around in it. Papyrus tossed bottles of condiments out of the station until he found what he was looking for.

“THIS!” Papyrus yelled triumphantly. Sans froze. In Papyrus’ hands was a fully-loaded Glock 18. Sans vaguely remembered putting it there after he had had too much ketchup. “I EVEN CLEANED ALL THE KETCHUP OFF OF IT! I TRIED IT OUT AND IT’S REALLY USEFUL! IT TOOK CARE OF THAT DOG PROBLEM WE’VE BEEN HAVING SO IMAGINE HOW USEFUL IT WOULD BE FOR A HUMAN!”

“Papyrus, wait,” Sans cut him off as he slowly backed away, “Just put that down, and we can forget this ever happened.”

“BUT SANS, THIS OBJECT IS PERFECT! JUST LOOK AT HOW ACCURATE IT IS!” Papyrus said as he took aim at Sans’ head.

“PAPYRUS DON’T-“ Papyrus pulled the trigger. Sans felt the bullet graze his skull as it hit the tree behind him.

“SEE SANS! IT’S PERFECT FOR CATCHING HUMANS! JUST LET ME USE IT PRETTY PLEASE!” Papyrus pleaded, pointing the gun at his feet, “IT’S NOT EVEN LETHAL I’VE TRIED IT OUT IT’S FINE!” Sans opened his mouth to scream but Papyrus shot his right arm. Sans screamed. His arm was dripping ketchup and blood through his torn sleeve. He screamed in pain as tears flowed down his face. He raised his arm up and his hand dropped down. Sans screamed even louder. Papyrus had broken his Radius. Sans fell on his knees and tried to catch himself with his hands, but his right arm flared up with pain. He screamed and cried even more as he fell into the snow. He rolled around in the snow, smearing blood and ketchup everywhere. Sans stood up clutching his right arm and tried to stop screaming.

“God dammit Sans stop being such a drama queen,” Papyrus said casually, “Look it doesn’t hurt.” He took aim and shot Sans’ left knee. Sans screamed. Blood flowed down his knee and soaked his pink slipper. He fell over and screamed and cried. He tried again to catch himself with his right hand, but he only succeeded in snapping his Ulna, causing his forearm to fall off. He screamed at the sight but could not move. His knee hurt too much. Sans cried with his face buried in the snow. He heard the crunch of footsteps in the snow. He looked up to see Papyrus staring down at him.

“Look, if you’re going to be such a baby about it then I’ll just leave you here until you ‘get better’,” Papyrus stated flatly, “Maybe when you realize how much of a baby you’re being you’ll do your work with a little more backbone! Nyeh heh heh!” Papyrus flipped his scarf over his shoulder and walked away. Sans lay whimpering in pain as he slowly bled to death in the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow that was fast. Hope you enjoyed this masterpiece you edgy twelve year old. If you didn’t enjoy this, there’s a lot worse than this, count yourself lucky.


End file.
